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  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    今天接到一个来自夏威夷的电话!
    一看来电显示我慌了,然后小心翼翼问:“can i help you?”
    结果话筒里传来了一句:“我操,打错了,打错了!”
    我当场就凌乱了。。。

  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文
    苦命的 salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn"t interested because he hadn"t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The farmer still didn"t think he needed any insect repellent but he felt sorry for the salesman and said,I"m so sure there aren"t any insects around here, if you"ll strip naked, I"ll tie you to my barnyard fence for the entire night. When morning comes, if you"ve got even one insect bite on you, I"ll buy every can of repellent you"ve got. The salesman was elated and readily agreed to being tied up naked. That night, the farmer tied the naked salesman to the barnyard fence and went to bed. Several times during the night he thought he heard the salesman moaning and groaning. However, when he went out the next morning, the salesman didn"t have even one bite or scratch on him. The farmer asked,What was all that moaning and groaning about last night?That was the worst night of my life, the salesman replied,doesn"t that damn calf have a mother?
  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文
    话说有一名英文不太好的男子,竟然泡上一名洋妞。

    一天,情到浓时,该男子用不太好的英文对洋妞女友说:『I Love You!』

    洋女听见大喜,说:『I Love You,too!』

    那名男子不明所以,竟说:『I Love You,three.....!
  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    meeting you was fate,and falling in love with you was out of my control.. 遇见你是命运的安排而爱上你是我情不自禁

    things change and friends leave. and life doesn‘t stop for anybody.. 事过境迁,物是人非,生命不因任何人停留。

    slowly that really care for another often hurt myself.. 慢慢的才知道,太在乎别人了往往会伤害自己。

    i love you not because i need you, i need you because i love you.. 不是因为需要你所以爱你,是因为爱你所以需要你。

    does not belong to me, i will let go 。. 不属于我的,我会离开 。

    if you love me, please you love doesn‘t love, please leave. 如果你爱我,就请你好好爱,不爱请离开

    to blossom blue is to blossom without you.. 我安静的忧伤,在失去你的回忆中绽放

    if you still care, don’t ever let me know.. 如果你仍旧在乎我,无论如何也别让我知道.

    some pain can not tell until you can slowly forget. 有些痛 说不出来 只能忍着 直到能够慢慢淡忘。

    forget, i admit that i eventually forget you deadly commitment. 忘不了,我承认我终究忘不了迩致命的承诺。

    dazzling white, let me understand what is pure damage. 刺眼的白色,让我明白什么是纯粹的伤害。

    i called the love is a man that belong to your pain scored.. 我所谓的爱就是自己一个人包揽原本属于你的痛。

    you all do not stay, i again why a self-deception again. 迩终究没有一句挽留,我又何必再自欺欺人。

    i finally know, i every minute of every second is a person. 我终于知道了,我的每一分每一秒都是一个人。

    i indulge themselves again and again, and the end, i a person nephew coriolano.. 我放任了自己一次又一次,结局我一个人孤苦伶仃。

    it doesn‘t matter is ok, just everything cannot go back.. 没关系没关系,只是一切都回不去

    then the selfish hurt, but only in order not to leave.. 那么自私的伤害,只是为了不离开

    forgiving is easy. trusting again, not so much. 原谅是容易的,再次信任,就没那么容易

    you will never understand love if you are always sane.. 永远那么理智,就永远不会懂得爱情了

    someone said, my love, i just thought.. 有人说,我的爱情只是我的自以为。

    don‘t say you have lost everything, because you and i.. 不要说你失去了一切,因为你还有我

    do not take your that wo cuo thoughts, insult me pure heart.. 不要拿你那龌蹉的思想,来侮辱我纯洁的心灵

    i can do substitutes but never do doubles.. 我可以做替代品,但绝不做替身

    i`d rather love someone i can`t have than have someone i can`t love. 我宁愿爱上一个我不能拥有的人,也不想拥有一个我无法爱上的人

    sooner or later, we will be passed. 迟早有一天,我们会擦肩而过

    ce n‘est pas jamais, jamais oublier que, une fois.. 到不了的就是永远, 忘不了的就是曾经

    i wonder what goes through your mind when you hear my name.. 我很想知道,当我的名字滑过你耳朵,你脑海中会闪现些什么

    cheater,just with lies in arms. 骗子,只是在用谎言武装自己

    with his saying sorry for being difficult for herself.. 跟http://www.telnote.cn/gexingqianming自己说声对不起,因为曾经为了别人难为了自己

    first i need your hand ,then forever can begin.. 我需要牵着你的手,才能告诉你什么是永远

    commitment in any, can do. it is just a lie.. 承诺再多,都做不到。那也只不过还是谎言

    love is not the strong vow but the simple accompany.. 爱情不是轰轰烈烈的誓言,而是平平淡淡的陪伴

    always want to disguise themselves, but could not disguise. 总想要伪装自己,可是却无法伪装。

    loves the plot is only to monopolize your eye pupil.. 爱的阴谋只是为独占住你的眼眸。

    you hug me again to burst into tears, nothing but to prove that had recovered.. 你抱着我又再流泪,无非为了证明曾经补救过。

    i love you a lot. the but again choose lonely.. 我爱你很多。却又选择寂寞

    if streams can stay. then i can stop missing for you.. 如果溪水可以停留。那我才能停止对你的思念

    i‘m not beautiful. don‘t turned. not gentleness. but i love you more than about it. 我不明媚。不倾城。不温柔。但是我爱你不止说说

    i‘m just a normal person, common to be forgotten.. 我只是个普通的人,普通到被世人遗忘。

    often have a lot of things. the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. 往往有很多事情。心有余而力不足

    most people yearning happiness, but is the happiness of others look.. 大多数人所向往的幸福,不过是别人看上去的幸福。

    our feelings after all the rain and wind, couldn‘t help eventually break down.. 我们的感情终究禁不住那风吹雨打,最终破裂。

    memories you have been laughing, laughing my ignorance.. 记忆里你一直在笑,笑我的愚昧无知

    i just want someone who will understand me even when no words are spoken. 我只想要一个甚至在我没说话就能明白我的人

    i will always love you , until the end of time. 我将永远喜欢你。直到时间停止

    once again, the figure had scattered, turn the figure also don‘t know to go to.. 又一次回头,人影早已散乱,那个背影也不知去了哪里。

    looking up only in nearby, but you do not always with me in the same height.. 抬头你只在不远处,却始终不跟我在同一个高度。

    when the tears after time, don‘t know will also won‘t you weep.. 当泪水流光之后,不知道还会不会再有泪。

    i took for granted, all the times that i thought would last somehow. 我总是想当然的认为我们终究可以持续下去

    this loneliness has crushed my heart. 孤独已麻木了我的心

    cause all i ever want, it comes right down to you. 因为我所想要的全部,都落在你身上

    anything could not have passed, i do not believe happiness, i believe you. 没有什么过不去,我不相信幸福,我相信你。

    with the wonder of your love, the sn above always shines. 拥有你美丽的爱情,太阳就永远明媚

    the time in the class, our love is walking.. 时间在流,我们的爱在走。

    understanding double pupil, silent regards.. 会心的双眸,无声的问候

    i did not know how likes being supposed to love.. 我不知道,爱该如何去爱。

    sometimes, you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.. 有时候,你必须放手,才能明白是否真的值得拥有

    makes today seem rather sad so much has changed. 让我徒生悲伤 世间已有太多的改变

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  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    each trauma, is another kind of maturity..每一种创伤,都是另一种成熟。

    mistake is temporary regret but missing is the forever one..过错是暂时的遗憾,而错过则是永远的遗憾。

    i forget, or you have not loved..是我忘不掉,还是你未曾爱过。

    i paid that well, but was felt unnecessary pain..我在实收这幸福,却被无谓感觉的痛楚。

    i want to be strong with the cry, tears are not obedient..我想坚强着不哭,泪却不听话。

    still keep their own small strong, have been strong..还留着自己的小坚强,一直坚强着。

    emotion is the innate weakness of human..情感是人类的本质弱点。

    don‘t waste your new tears for the old sorrow..不要为旧的悲伤,浪费新的眼泪

    i would rather be single than choose a wrong person..与其找错误的人相伴,不如选择单身。

    happiness needs comparison that is worse so that it can be felt..幸福是个比较级,要有东西垫底才容易感觉到

    life is simple.you make choices and you don‘t look back..人生很简单,做了决定就不要后悔

    the more you care, the more you have to lose..在意的越多,失去的就越多

    if my future has you in it, i‘m not afraid of anything..如果我的未来有你在,其他一切我都不怕了

    memory is a kind of inner rumor..回忆,是一种内心的谣言

    to forgive is easy,but to trust again is not that easy..原谅是容易的。再次信任,就没那么容易了。

    i‘m just folk.i have mood swings..我只是个平凡人,我也有我的小情绪

    so-called playboy is that you can‘t fill up my heart for 24 hours..所谓花心,就是你无法24小时填充我的心

    those prosperitis i have granted to you belong to you..那些我许给你的繁华,那就是属于你的

    the game of love, you will lose once you take it seriously..爱情这个游戏,你一认真就输了

    something is a knot when you reserve it,a scar when it‘s opened..有些事,不说是个结,说了是个疤

    after all this time, it‘s still you..过了这么久之后, 心里那个人,还是你

    thanks your smile, had been flurried my time passage..谢谢你的微笑,曾经慌乱过我的年华

    hold my hand,you won‘t get lost even with eyes closed..牵着我的手,闭着眼睛走你也不会迷路。

    there was once a moment,we misunderstood it was a lifetime..有那么一瞬间,我们误以为是一辈子

    nobody is able to beat you but yourself..没有人可以打倒你,能打倒你的只有你自己。

    sometimes silence is not happy, just want to put the heart headroom..有时沉默,不是不快乐,只是想把心净空。

    sometimes tears can express feelings easier than words..有时候,眼泪比语言更容易表达感受。

    everlasting and unchanging, kind of mistake..原来天长地久,只是误会一场。

    happiness keeps growing endlessly,but it‘s too far to reach..幸福是生生不息,却难以触及的远。

    don‘t look for love. love will find you..不http://www.telnote.cn/gexingqianming用刻意去找寻爱,爱会自然找到你。

    just because we are not perfect, we need each other..正因为我们都不完美,我们才会彼此需要。

    he that can’t endure the bad, will not live to see the good..忍不了痛苦,就见不到幸福。

    happiness is a way station between too much and too little..幸福是太多和太少之间的一站。

    if you look for it, love actually is all around..如果你用心寻找,你会发现爱其实无处不在

    every boring hour in life is unique..在生命中,再无聊的时光也是限量版。

    in the changeable life, time is the greatest thief..在变幻的生命里, 岁月,原是最大的小偷

    wherever we are going,as long as we are together..无所谓能到哪里,但是要在一起

    it has not been the time yet to give up as long as you still feel it is not the end..只要心里还存着不甘心,就还不到放弃的时候。

    every exit is an entrance to somewhere else..每个出口,都是通往另一处的入口

    recalls, has the flash is the ache, but, despairs..回忆的时候,有一瞬间是疼痛的,无奈的,绝望的。

    you’ll make it through whatever comes along..不管遇到什么困难,你最终都能克服。

    time is like a kaleidoscope, let your eyes lost direction..时光就像个万花筒,让你的眼睛丢失方向。

    is there a way never, never, ever change..有没有那样一种永远,永远永远不改变。

    each trauma, is another kind of maturity..每一种创伤,都是另一种成熟。

    i loved you. i leave you. i’ll miss you..曾经爱过你。现在我走了。将来,我还会想念你。

    love isn’t complicated , people are..爱并不复杂,复杂的是人。

    there are better things ahead than any we left behind..未来会有比曾经更好的东西。

    happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have..幸福不会眷顾那些不珍惜拥有的人。

    don’t be easy to get, or you’ll be easy to forget..不要轻易让人得到你,不然你会很容易被忘记。

    if love is just a game, how come i’ve never win?.如果爱是一场游戏,那我怎么从来没赢过?

    i remember every word you said..你曾说过的,我都清清楚楚的记得。

    when thinking of you some happiness. well some sad..想迩的时候有些幸福,幸福的有些难过。

    time peremptory bald, time flies into ruins..时光俨然催人老,时光荏苒成蹉跎。

    do not play too true acting, otherwise it will bear the scars..演戏别演太真,否则会伤痕累累。

    can a heart still break once it’s stopped beating?.一颗停止跳动的心,还能心碎吗?

    sometimes,i wish i could just erase all of those memories from my mind..有时候,我多想能把那些记忆从我的脑海擦去。

    the same love that makes me laugh makes cry..同一份爱,让我笑,也让我哭。

    no one is in charge of your happiness but you..没人能掌控你的幸福,除了你自己。

    love doesn’t walk away, people do..爱是不会离开你的,会离开你的是人。

    time heals almost everything.give time time..时间几乎能治愈一切,请给时间一点时间。

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  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    some people may look strong, but just looks strong just.. 有些人看似坚强,但只是看似坚强而已。

    i can‘t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. 我已经迫不及待的想和你共度余生了。

    love means never having to say you are sorry.. 爱,意味着永不说后悔。

    i in and so on future. will have your future.. 我在等未来。有你的未来。

    fate is used to describe the original, you suddenly do not love my things. 原来缘分是用来说明,你突然不爱我这件事情。

    oath naive. was stranded there one day.. 天真的誓言。总有被搁浅的一天。

    the wind blows away the thoughts, rolled up unruly time.. 被风吹散的思念,卷起不羁的时间

    we don‘t have any choice, only run in opposite directions.. 我们没有任何选择的余地,只有背道而驰

    weep no more , no sigh , nor groan. sorrow calls no time that‘s gone. 别哭泣,别叹息,别呻吟;悲伤唤不回流逝的时光。

    i like for you to be still, it is as though you were absent. 我喜欢你是寂静的,仿佛你消失了一样

    if the language can not express, i am willing to prove that life.. 如果语言无法表达,我愿意用生命证明。

    i in and so on future. will have your future.. 我在等未来,有你的未来

    if you can‘t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don‘t deserve me at my best.. 如果你无法忍受我最坏的一面,你也不配得到我最好的一面

    love and a cough cannot be hid.. 爱情和咳嗽是藏不住的

    your emotions has nothing to do with me, your world and others.. 你的喜怒哀乐与我无关,你的世界里还有别人.

    time to get your outline written more apparent. profound.. 时间把你的轮廓描写得更加明显。深刻。

    in the end, i have not found half drops of tears, commemorates our love.. 到最后,我竟找不出半滴眼泪,来纪念我们的爱。

    active long will be very tired, care about for a long time will crash. 主动久了会很累,在乎久了会崩溃

    the most beautiful thing in the world is, of course, the word itself.. 世界最美之处就在于他本身

    maybe sometimes busy street just because you appear just,. 或许有时候热闹的街 只是因为你出现而已

    we love others too early, self love too late. 我们爱别人太早,爱自己太迟

    our love is the process of fairy tale, but no ending.. 我们的爱情有着童话的过程,却没有结局。

    a day without laughter is a day wasted.. 没有大笑的一天,等于浪费了一天

    sorry,i have been used to the things which i‘m not supposed to.. 对不起,我已经习惯了不该习惯的习惯

    love should have been a surprise, why say god arrangement.. 相爱本来是场意外,何必要说上天安排

    love is a carefully designed lie.. 爱情是一个精心设计的谎言

    time is the fault of fatalistic testimony people.. 时光的宿命就是见证人们的过错

    if you can get happiness in this lifetime, who may displaced.. 此生若能得幸福安稳,谁又愿颠沛流离

    sometimes, walking away is better than standing there, acting like it doesn‘t bother you.. 有时候,转身离开要好过假装若无其事的坚持

    a we missed the time, france.. 时间一点点被我们错过,擦肩而过。

    open communication, trust, and honesty are the most important ingredients in a relationship.. 在http://www.telnote.cn/gexingqianming一段感情中最重要的莫过于真诚,信任,直言不讳。

    every single person has at least one secret that would break his/her heart.. 谁都会有那么一两个令自己心碎的秘密。

    love is sort of encounter.it can be neither waited nor prepared.. 爱是一种遇见,不能等待,也不能准备。

    i`m a slow walker, but i never walk back.. 我走得不快,但决不走回头路。

    the very remembrance of your former misfortune proves be a new one.. 对于过去不幸的记忆,构成了新的不幸。

    the truth may be hurt for a little while but a lie hurts foreve.. 真相会让我们痛一阵,但谎言会令我们痛一生。

    will there be that one day, you left me.. 会不会有那么一天,你离我而去

    two people along the street up, who also don‘t stay.. 两个人沿着街一直走,谁也不许再停留

    it would be great if i know how to give you up. 如果我知道怎么舍弃你,那该多好

    love is someone who understand how to love themself. 爱情是留给懂得爱自己的人

    all our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.. 我们的所有梦想都能实现,只要我们有勇气去追求。

    end of the road is still the way, if you want to go.. 路的尽头,仍然是路,只要你愿意走。

    happiness doesn‘t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.. 幸福不是取决于外界环境,它由我们的心态来决定。

    everlasting and unchanging, kind of mistake.. 原来天长地久,只是误会一场。

    i acted like it wasn‘t a big deal, when really it was breaking my heart.. 我装作一切都无所谓,虽然我已心力交瘁。

    love begins with a smile,grows with a kiss,ends with a tear.. 爱情以笑开始,以吻转浓,以泪结束。

    grasp the happiness around it, don‘t let it slip away.. 把握身边的幸福吧,不要让它擦肩而过。

    i don‘t have the strenghth to stay away from you anymore.. 我再也没有离开你的力气了

    i‘m just folk.i have mood swings.. 我只是个平凡人,我也有我的小情绪。

    there will be a tear that lets you grow in a twinkling.. 总会有一次流泪,让我们瞬间长大。

    in love one has need of being believe,in friendship of being understood.. 爱情需要信任,友情需要理解。

    tied memories of our time, our memories of the time tearing.. 回忆绑住了我们的时间,时间扯断了我们的回忆。

    i love you a lot. the but again choose lonely.. 我爱你很多。却又选择寂寞。

    when it has is lost, brave to give up.. 当拥有已经是失去,就勇敢的放弃。

    it’s not easy to change friendship into love. but it‘s even harder to turn love into friendship。. 让友情变成爱情不容易,让爱情变成友情更难。

    who can come to the front of the time, help me find the next screen.. 谁能走到时间的前面,帮我看看未来的画面

    fading is true while flowering is past.. 凋谢是真实的,盛开只是一种过去。

    the longer you wait for the future, the shorter it will be.. 关于未来,你等待它越长,它就越短。

    happiness is time precipitation, smile is the lonely sad.. 幸福是年华的沉淀,微笑是寂寞的悲伤。

    never say love if you don’t really mean it.. 如果不当真的话你就决不要说“爱”。

    sweet memory is not able to provide a person with nourishment for long.. 甜蜜的回忆,无法长期营养一个人。

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  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    if i fall in love with you smile to want how to collect how to have.. 如果我爱上你的笑容 要怎么收藏要怎么拥有。

    the palm of your hand without nevus, so i won‘t remember you.. 你掌心没有痣,所以我不会记得你。

    sorry, i have been used to the things which i‘m not supposed to.. 对不起,我已经习惯了不该习惯的习惯。

    everything you feel is temporary.. 你的一切感受,都是暂时的。

    when i’m with you the imposible becomes possible.. 当我与你在一起,不可能都会变成可能。

    retaining a childish heart is a matter of pride.. 童心未泯,是一件值得骄傲的事情。

    before it was reality, now it’s just a memory.. 曾经的现实,现在已是回忆。

    if love is losing market bureau, then you choose to give up or continue.. 如果爱情是场必输的局,那你选择放弃还是继续。

    my world because of has you, but completely full.. 我的世界因为有你而满满。

    the time in the class, our love is walking.. 时间在流,我们的爱在走。

    several th bustling places, happiness keeled over drunk the dreamland.. 几世红尘,幸福醉倒梦乡。

    paper plane fly farther take away my heart. 纸飞机飞的再远带不走我的心情

    love, living things, is you let me know!. 爱情,扯淡的东西,是你让我懂得!

    coming days would be long. after all do not grow, grey-haired.. 来日方长、终究长不到白发苍苍。

    just don‘t want to lose my smile left with pride. 没心没肺地笑 只是不想输掉仅剩下的骄傲

    sometimes i miss you so much that i can hardly stand it.. 有时候我好想你,想到无法承受。

    the train is always the two could not get close to the distance, as you and i.. 火车的双轨永远有着无法靠近的距离,就如我和你。

    can‘t tell love and ambiguity, don‘t make two bites of a cherry. 分不清爱和暧昧,不想这样拖泥带水

    because meet too late, so everybody is misfortune. 因为太晚相遇,所以所有人都变得不幸。

    don‘t let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.. 不要因为没有把握,就放弃自己心中的追求。

    strength shows, not only in the ability to persist, but the ability to start over.. 坚持需要勇气,重新来过更是如此

    speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.. 勇敢说出你的想法,哪怕声音会颤抖。

    take away love, and our earth is a tomb.my heart is with you.. 没有了爱,地球便成了坟墓。我的爱与你同在。

    how regardless of i do become formidable, you still could be my weakness.. 无论我变得如何强大,你仍然会是我的弱点。

    we are like dominoes. i fall for you. you fall for another.. 我们就像多米诺骨牌。我倒向你,你却倒向别人。

    i need someone who won’t give up on me.. 我只是需要一个不会放弃我的人。

    some people will never be forgotten while some are always substitutes.. 有些人永远不会被忘记,有些人永远只是代替品。

    memory is a wonderful thing if you don‘t have to deal with the past。. 回忆本来是非常美好的,只要你能让过去的都过去。

    be defeated by pursuit.marry happiness.. 要输就输给追求,要嫁就嫁给幸福。

    i can do am not many, but you need time, i always.. 我能做的不多,但你需要的时候,我总是在的。

    fading is true while flowering is past.. 凋谢是真实的,盛开只是一种过去。

    each person has own fate, all what do with other people.. 每个人有自己的宿命,一切又与他人何干。

    love one another and you will be happy. it‘s as simple and as difficult as that.. 彼此相爱就是幸福,如此简单,如此难。

    happiness is a journey, not a destination.. 幸福是一场旅程,不是终点。

    whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.. 无论过去发生过什么,你要相信,最好的尚未到来。

    tears are words the heart can‘t say.. 眼泪是心里无法诉说的言辞。

    no one, absolutely no one, has the right to take someone’s happiness away.. 没有人,绝对没有一个人有权利带走别人的幸福。

    quiet people have the loudest minds.. 安静的人有最喧嚣的思想。

    he who is the most slow in making a promise is the most faithful in the performance of it.. 最难给你许诺的人, 在履行的时候最忠诚。

    fading is true while flowering is past.. 凋谢是真实的,盛开只是一种过去。

    life is like riding a bicycle. to keep your balance you must keep moving.. 人生就像骑单车,想保持平衡就得往前走。

    our lives are frittered away by detail. simplify, simplify.. 我们的生活总被琐事浪费了,简单点,再简单点。

    you just take me as a ferry, by the time i spent lonely desolate.. 你只是把我当作渡口,借我度过寂寞荒凉的时光 。

    i will be strong enough to make you feel bad.. 我会坚强到让你们心疼。

    regarding present‘s we, think including regards luxuriously.. 对于现在的我们,连一句问候都觉得奢侈。

    anything could not have passed, i do not believe happiness, i believe you.. 没有什么过不去,我不相信幸福,我相信你。

    if love is just passing through, why should a visit.. 如果爱情只是路过,又何必到此一游。

    i hope that‘s not your back, but you come back.. 我希望的不是你回头,而是你回来。

    i start the academic society to imagine, form in one‘s mind to have your my place.. 我开始学会想象,构思一个有你我的地方。

    with the most true to myself,to meet the most should be that person.. 用最真实的自己,才能遇见最应该的那个人。

    to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.. 爱自己是终身浪漫的开始。

    artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.. 假装聪明还不如保持愚蠢。

    grasp the happiness around it, don‘t let it slip away.. 把握身边的幸福吧,不要让它擦肩而过。

    i‘m still loving you but the persistence to stay with you is gone.. 我还爱着你. 只不过少了非要在一起的执着。

    life isn‘t fair, but it‘s still good.. 生活本就是不公平,但却依然精彩。

    i want to be his favorite hello and his hardest goodbye.. 我要成为他最心动的相遇,最不舍的离别。

    you can get the whole world with love, you can also use hate to lose the whole world.. 你可以用爱得到全世界,你也可以用恨失去全世界。

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  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    我始终没有抓住你,说出:i need you。

    我始终没有抱住你,说出:i miss you。

    这个情人节我陪你过,好么?

    我已经爱你爱的无药可救.

    直到最后的一秒` 才把我的手放开。

    直到最后的一秒丶你依然在我身边。

    手心炽热的温度是爱着你的证明。

    心跳加速的频率是爱着你的证据。

    我相信爱情的终结最后是你,没有人能代替。

    我相信爱情的结局最后是你,没有人能取代。

    い 涐知道伱昦〔痛〕 昰涐给昦承诺,╯

    い 涐知道你昦〔伤〕 昰涐给昦许诺,╯

    Who‘ll me dearly.(谁来心疼莪)

    Who‘ll warm my.(谁来温暖莪)

    i said i was the only thing you were not enough ﹌我说你是我唯一你还嫌不够′。

    i say you still love you , years is not enough ﹌ 我说爱你一万年你还嫌不够′。

    Love you row in arentheses.(爱你划在括号里)

    Think you hold in the circle.(想你牵在圆圈里)

    如果我们有机会可以再重来 那么多好。yy、

    如果我们能成为彼此的唯一 那么多好。yy、

    - 瘦子永远体会不了胖子站在秤上的忧伤。

    - 胖子永远理解不了瘦子轻易被推到时的凄凉。

    老婆,我这辈子非你不娶。

    老公,我这辈子非你不嫁。

    我希望你是新郎那天,身边的那个新娘是我-

    我希望你是老婆婆那天,身边的那个老头头是我-

    我知道我是一个有梦的女子,

    我知道爱是一个太艰深的字,

    ◇ ╮ 旋 转 木 马 能 否 旋 转 到 过 去 ?

    ◇ ╮ 旋 转 木 马 能 否 旋 转 到 你 身 边 ?

    不知不觉爱上了,不离不弃一辈子~~~只爱你

    不知不觉想你了,不离不弃一辈子~~~只想你

    你哥我的很爱你。。。永远永远、不变

    你姐我的很爱你。。。永远永远、不变

    两个男人追一个女人 ,用情浅的那个先放弃 。

    两个女人追一个男人 ,用情深的那个先放弃 。

    l/an 不要否定我在你心的分量ζ

    l/an 纵容甲乙丙丁都虎视眈眈ζ

    我卟懂得爱人、只懂得爱你一个人

    我卟会爱你、只会爱你一辈子

    ︶ ̄メ为你、从此封心

    ︶ ̄メ为你、从此锁爱

    沙漏,如果你知道,你可否告诉我,你还会不会让我遗忘呢?

    沙漏,如果你知道,你可否告诉他,我很想他,可不是爱情。

    相爱时看到了你昦美,你昦笑,我昦泪;

    抛弃后看到了你昦错,你昦坏,我昦醉;

    每天都昰情人节,有爱情昦地方,就有恋人°

    每天都昰光棍节,有男人昦地方,就有光棍°

    阿狸说:“忘记桃子的面容是世界上最难的事。”

    桃子说:“抹去阿狸的记忆是世界上最疼的事。”

    石头剪刀布∶输了罚你爱我一辈子#

    石头剪刀布∶赢了要你陪我一辈子#

    我专属的爱情,由你独家赞助。

    你专属的爱情,由我独家赞助

    我爱上了一个不倾城不娇媚不可爱的籹子

    我爱上了一个不霸气不花心不缺爱的男子

    爱是空白日记,莪是笔,任迩涂鸦着回忆。

    爱是七彩光影,莪是雨,给迩缤纷昦雨季。

    此女人my拿命守护/ 摩天轮上的告白,成了我们最美的回忆!

    此男人my拿命守护/ 摩天轮上的告白,成了我们最美的回忆!

    宝贝,我是你的唯一还是其一呀。

    达令,你当然是我最爱最爱的唯一。

    〆、莪们昦誓言,手心里面是莪们昦爱恋。

    〆、莪们昦承诺,眼睛里面是莪们昦鲜艳。

    do you like or don‘t love me, i here and do not yield.(你爱或不爱我、我都在这里不离不弃。)

    you read or me, i was here or not. no mercy(你念或不念我、我都在这里不悲不喜。)

    阿狸说:“忘记桃子的面容是世界上最难的事。”

    桃子说:“抹去阿里的记忆是世界上最疼的事。”

    █ ■

    - 离开以后,有没有更快乐。

    - 分开以后,就当作没经过。

    --放鹿先生。我跑遍了整件男厕所,都没找见您。你厕所门牌号多少啊?

    --问题小姐。你跑遍了整件男厕所嘛。我正在女生厕所门牌号找你啊。

    偶尔有点小情绪,为了引起你注意

    偶尔有点小任性,为了等待你安抚。

    说实话丶你是我现在为止最最爱的女人。

    骗我吧丶你应该没喜欢过别的女人了吧。

    - 亲爱的, 这是迩的姓氏, 我的故事//

    - 亲爱的, 这是迩的姓氏, 我的名字//

    此花已有主、不需在换土。

    此草已有主、不需在换土。

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  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    智叟:愚公,都说靠山吃山,你把山挖了,我们到哪里捕飞龙,锦鸡,到哪里采花菇,人参?
      愚公:要想富,先铺路,you kown?

  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    小小英语爱情语句,读一些情感语句,学习一点英语。

    They all say losing before know how to cherish, actually cherish the most pain after losing. 她们都说失去以后才懂得珍惜,其实珍惜后的失去最痛。

    Can I hold your hand. No. But why? Because it'll hurt when you let go. -我可以牵你的手么?-不可以。-给个理由先。-因为,有天你一旦放手,它们就会受伤。

    I can't promise you a perfect relationship without arguments. However, I can promise you as long as you're trying, I'm staying.我无法信口开河,许诺一段没有争执的完美爱情。但是,我保证只要有你的努力经营,我就会不离不弃。

    One simple happiness, a worldly will grow old. Keep a young heart, do a simple people, enjoy sunshine and warmth. Life should be so. -------- 人一简单就快乐,一世故就变老。保持一颗年轻的心,做个简单的人,享受阳光和温暖。生活就应当如此。

    我不会跟你要星星,也不会跟你要月亮,我只想要你知道,我喜欢你。I will not want the star with you, also will not want the moon with you, I will only want you to know, I will like you.

    自从你离开,我的生命里就剩下两件事可做,寻找你和等待你。 Since you leave, in my life is left over two matters to be possible to do, seeks for you and waits for you. [ 短信居 的 ]

    我在这个世界上,走走停停,寻寻觅觅,就是为了和你相遇。 I in this world, stop from time to time, search, is meets for and you.

    爱情是两个人的天荒地老,不是一个人的一厢情愿。 Love was two people in ancient times, was not a person's one's own wishful thinking.

    因为陌生,所以勇敢,因为距离,所以美丽。Because strange, therefore is brave, because of distance, therefore is beautiful.

    There's some things that people don't admit because they don't like the way it sounds. 人们有时候不愿承认一些事情,只是因为这些东西听起来很不舒服。

    I would rather love someone I can`t have than have someone I can`t Love.我宁愿爱上一个我不能拥有的人,也不想拥有一个我无法爱上的人。

    I don't want to admit that I wasted their time. I also don't admit that I wasted my youth.我不想承认我蹉跎了自己的岁月。 我也不愿承认我浪费了我的青春。

    Don’t say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it. 不要说爱我,除非你是认真的。因为我也许会做出疯狂的事,比如....相信你。

    There is no hopeless situation, only the man who falls into despair.世上没有绝望的处境,只有对处境绝望的人。

  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    accustomed, one day.♪. 已经习惯了,一个人的日子。

    is very sweet, very bitter, and that is love.♪. 很甜、很苦,那就是爱情。

    then the selfish hurt, but only in order not to leave.♪. 那么自私的伤害,只是为了不离开

    it doesn‘t matter is ok, just everything cannot go back.♪. 没关系没关系,只是一切都回不去

    it is better bo have love and lost than never to have loved at all.♪. 宁可曾经爱过而失败,也不要从来未曾有过一次爱。

    man‘s love is of man‘s life a thing apart, it is woman‘s whole existence.♪. 爱情对男子不过是身外之物,对女人却是整个生命。

    a person,be good to yourself;two person, treat each other.♪. 一个人时,善待自己;两个人时,善待对方。

    love sought is good, but given unsought is better.♪. 爱是美好的,但不经意间降临的爱更为美好。

    a we missed the time, france.♪. 时间一点点被我们错过,擦肩而过。

    you never lose by loving. you always lose by holding back.♪. 施予爱绝无损,保留爱却常有失。

    life without love is like a tree without blossom of fruit.♪. 缺少爱的生命,就像未开花结果的枯树。

    choice, not chance, determines human destiny.♪. 抉择,而不是机遇,决定命运。

    there is no paradise on earth equal to the union of love and innocence.♪. 人间最大的幸福莫如既有爱情又清白无暇。

    si perde sempre molto di più per abbandonare l‘auto.♪. 你总是失去很多,多到放弃自我。

    chi è che ha colpito il passante. chi è nella ruota della vita.♪. 谁是谁命中的过客。谁是谁生命的转轮。

    ripetute in un tempo lungo, questo stato d‘animo non è stata terminata.♪. 在时间长久的反复中,这种心情不但没有得到中止。

    listen,heart-breaking voice,is so clear、♪. 听、心碎的声音依旧清晰

    as long as you hold my hand ,i‘ll go along with you ,♪. 只要你牵我手 ,我就会一直跟你走 ,

    has 1000 taste only to be able lonely to have one kind of experience actually.♪. 寂寞有一千种滋味,却只能有一种体会。

    crying laughing struggle, beat the deepest corners of the inner♪. 笑着哭泣的挣扎、摔打内心最深的角落为什么。

    if you love me the way, i will fight to the end of love.♪. 如果爱告诉我走下去,我会拼到爱尽头

    give up is because have ever own, happiness is because experience successively the distress.♪. 放弃是因为曾经拥有,幸福是因为历经苦难

    abbiamo un angolo sconosciuto del cuore.♪. 我们的心底都有一个不为人知的角落。

    vi è l‘attesa per siyi che ha chiamato malinconicamente♪. 有一种等待用来思忆 那叫做望眼欲穿。

    questo mondo avrà sempre un posto inaccessibile.♪. 这世间永远有一些无法抵达的地方。

    avete mai pensato che la vicenda è proporzionale con sempre.♪. 你曾以为海誓山盟是跟天荒地老成正比的。

    no one else can be what you have been to me。♪. 最想要去的地方,怎么能在半路就返航、

    lost yesterday, today is the treasure, tomorrow is growing♪. 昨天失去的、今天是珍惜、明天是成长

    the day, i had thought day-by-day i can be familiar with    .♪. 日子ー天天的过。我以为我会习惯。

    you forgot to remember, i forgot to forget.♪. 你忘了回忆,我忘了忘记。

    back to the endwas not back,into two of the celebration.♪. 回忆走到尽头却不是回忆,便成了两个人的庆典。

    che è diventato benedizione sfollati che da quando è diventata una gioia.♪. 那些流离成了幸事,那些由于成了欢喜。

    no temperatura, luce solare, la perdita della voce nel frastuono.♪. 没有温度的日光,失却声线的喧嚣。

    formicolio sensazione tutti sanno tutto, ma nessuno lo so.♪. 刺痛的感觉所有人都懂 但是我的却没人懂。

    le parole vuote non potevano descrivere le mie paure.♪. 空洞的语言描写不出我内心的恐惧 。

    con una sfrenata un‘occhiata in giro, ma depravazione lasciva come il clown.♪. 带着肆意的张望,却成肆意极欲的小丑。

    eventually forgotten by the merciless, lost his.♪. 最终还是被无情的遗忘,迷失了自己。

    to you for more and more, but only in mind.♪. 对你的思念越来越浓, 但却只能放在心中。

    a person may give you many pain, but does not have one time is the same.♪. 一个人可以给你许多痛苦,但是没有一次是相同的。

    but actually really has loves you, does not only want to search again.♪. 倒不是真的有多爱你,只是不想再寻寻觅觅

    if you can get happiness in this lifetime, who may displaced.♪. 此生若能得幸福安稳,谁又愿颠沛流离。

    monsoon transito, tutto il trambusto della vita di tutta la linea.♪. 季风过境,生命的喧嚣都断了线.

    non ci saranno alcuni che, una memoria buccia giorno.♪. 谁都不会再有的曾经,终有一天会剥离记忆。

    come un uomo, ancora in grado di vivere libero e facile.♪. 一个人又怎样,照样可以活的洒脱.

    not to be lonely and huen dyed was greatly.♪. 不要让孤单 ,渲染了寂寞。

    i would like to be a single-cell organisms, heartless creature alive.♪. 我想做个单细胞的生物,没心没肺的活着。

    when you‘re wrong, when even the breathing is wrong.♪. 当你做错的时候,连呼吸都是错。

    that is immaterial, but the memory of the corner.♪. 都说时间是无形的,可是坐在记忆的角落里。

    in that commitment. the time, lost in memories of the room.♪. 爱情,在指间的承诺。时间、在回忆间消失。

    love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired。♪. 爱情是一种对抑制不住的欲望的不可抵御的向往。

    you said that love me for a million years. oath to become a lie.♪. 你说过爱我一万年 誓言变成了谎言.

    la vita è un foglio bianco ci oscillare testo.♪. 生活是一片空白,我们在纸上挥洒文字。

    l‘amicizia cosiddetto, che è un cuore in due corpi.♪. 所谓友谊,就是一颗心在两个身体里。

    spectators are so many people so many people just simply passing♪. 那么多人只是看客 那么多人只是过客

    unable to control the uncontrollable is feeling emotional♪. 控制不住的是情绪 抑制不住的是感情

    i must use all happy all, trades your sad tears.♪. 我要用所有美好的一切,换走迩伤心的泪水

    pities the rumor, i blurred the line of sight♪. 一句怜悯的谎言,我模糊了视线。

    traces in the memories of the years, settling a nice look.♪. 回忆在岁月的痕迹里,沉淀出好看的样子。

    there is always messy colors, so happy, warm light with dark.♪. 总有些杂乱的色调,让幸福的暖光有了暗色。

    ora se ho indugiato, è stato bello essere rinviata.♪. 时光不管我是否徘徊,它冷静地顺延着。

    if you want to fly too high in relation to the horizon forget♪. 如果想飞得高,就该把地平线忘掉。

    paura di essere soli, e ha rifiutato la banda di pazzi.♪. 害怕一个人的孤单,所以拒绝一帮人的疯狂。

    una lacrima, il mondo intero a piangere.♪. 一滴眼泪掉下来,整个世界都哭了。

    la memoria è occupato ancora una volta, ma alla fine, o una persona seduta vuoto♪. 回忆里再热闹,却到底还是一个人空荡荡的坐着.


  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    the longer the explanation, the bigger the lie.解释的越长,谎言就越大。

    memories can make you smile, but it can very well make you cry hard.回忆,有时令你嘴角上扬,有时也能让你潸然泪下

    if you care about what others think of you, then you will always be their slave.总在乎其他人怎么看你, 那你会一直是他人的奴隶。

    time heals almost everything. give time time时间几乎会愈合所有事情。请给时间一点时间。

    if two past lovers can remain friends, it‘s either they were never in love or they still are.如果分手的恋人还能做朋友,要不从没爱过,要不还在爱着。

    the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.忘记某个人最好的方法,就是喜欢上其他人。

    strong woman is will cry, but never admit defeat,坚强的女人是会哭。但觉不会认输

    i`d rather love someone i can`t have than have someone i can`t love我宁愿爱上一个我不能拥有的人,也不想拥有一个我无法爱上的人。

    sooner or later, we will be passed迟早有一天,我们会擦肩而过

    vous ne m‘a jamais dit que jamais, jamais je n‘ai à demain.你对我说永远永远,永远不是我要的明天.

    ce n‘est pas jamais, jamais oublier que, une fois.到不了的就是永远, 忘不了的就是曾经。

    memory is a wonderful thing if you don‘t have to deal with the past。回忆本来是非常美好的,只要你能让过去的都过去。

    if equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me.如果没有相等的爱,那就让我爱多一些吧。

    love is hard to get into, but harder to get out of.爱很难投入,但一旦投入,便更难走出.

    time is the fault of fatalistic testimony people.时光的宿命就是见证人们的过错。

    can‘t get preference in turmoil, was forever have no fear hold得不到的永远在骚动,被偏爱的都有持无恐

    whether we can go in light, now after a long time.我们是不是可以平平淡淡,就此过以后的漫长时光。

    no matter how far away forever, i will protect you everything.不管永远有多远,我会保护你一切。

    i miss you like repeating decimals myopically again and again.我对你的思念就像循环小数,一遍一遍执迷不悟。

    you into my heart and soundless distance to the last but你无声无息 涌入我心底 到最后却要保持距离

    miss as miss, miss read as offering, the chief read do not read想念不如怀念,怀念不如祭念,祭念不如不念

    unfortunately, there are but the two love each other.可惜两人相爱,总会有无奈。

    our story ended in, my love to you happiness for refuge我们的故事终结于,我的爱以你的幸福为归依

    every moment we stay together stay in my mind,still fantasy。每时每刻,在我的脑海里仍然幻想我们待在一起。

    i love not love you one minute only 60 seconds我爱的不多 一分钟只爱了你六十秒

    but if the while i think on thee, dear friend, all losses are restored, and sorrows end.只要我一想起你,亲爱的人,所有的失落和遗憾烟消云散。

    you just went there i don‘t smile of desperate turn to you你只是在那里云淡风轻的笑 我就不顾一切地奔向你

    distance is not terrible terrible is the heart is far away距离并不可怕 可怕的是心越来越远

    you cannot appreciate happiness unless you have known sadness too.不知道什么是忧伤,就不会真正感激幸福。

    envy is a knife inserted in others last not inserted himself is嫉妒是一把刀最后不是插在别人身上 就是插进自己心里

    i will always love you , until the end of time我将永远喜欢你。直到时间停止

    love song didn‘t tell we are brave and not brave perhaps the result is same情歌没有告诉我们 勇敢和不勇敢或许结果都一样

    i didn‘t want to leave you that just love the backseat force我没想离开你 那只是爱的后座力

    if there is no separation growth also does not have belongs to如果没有别离 成长也就无所附丽

    so gorgeous appearance, but only you false hide.那么华丽的外表,却只是你虚伪的掩饰。

    i put the wait time are used to miss, it becomes short very.我把等待的时光都用来想念,它就变得短暂的很。

    time will slowly precipitation, some people will be in your heart slowly misty.时间会慢慢沉淀,有些人会在你心底慢慢模糊。

    you find your sunshine, i was left alone sad.你找到了你的阳光,我却仍在独自忧伤。

    crossed how the bridge, we should forget the past the tangle.过了奈何桥,我们就该忘掉前世的纠葛了。

    all just want to have a person in his defense, but even tell the reason from no心里的一切只想找个人诉说,可是却连诉说的理由都没有

    in order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.想要不可替代,就必须与众不同。

    i want to forget you, forget about any of your memory我想忘掉你了,忘掉关于你的任何记忆。

    when you relinquish the desire to control your future, you can have more happiness.当你放弃了对自己未来的控制,你就能拥有更多的幸福

    the fragmentation of the separation, this is you want to end.支离破碎的分离,这是不是你要的结局。

    suddenly remembered word but not you accompany me to the last突然想起了一句话可惜不是你 陪我到最后

    i want to strong, is not what you said strengthened themselves.我要的坚强,不是你所说的逞强。

    our biggest enemy in love is not the intruder but the time.在爱情中,我们面临的最大敌人不是第三者,而是时间。

    some things, once himself, is smoke有些事情,一旦过眼,便是烟云.

    even next second we didn‘t meet, on one second we will meet.即使下一秒我们没有相遇,上一秒我们也会相见。

    happiness is just on my hands, and even lost sense of direction, but still not afraid.幸福就是只要牵对了手,就算失去了方向感,但仍然不会害怕。

    love is a fabric that nature wove and fantasy embroidered.爱情是一方织巾,用自然编织,用幻想点缀。

    if i could have anyone in the world, it would still be you.纵然世间任我挑,我的选择仍是你。

    memories, beautiful very hurt, memories, memories of the past but can not go back.回忆,很美,却很伤;回忆,只是回不到过去的记忆。

    you said, love is too deep but don‘t let their destruction.你说过,爱的太深却不要让自己沉沦

    two people along the street up, who also don‘t stay.两个人沿着街一直走,谁也不许再停留

    love is a kind of chance encounter, and one can neither waiting nor preparing for it.爱是一种遇见,不能等待,也不能准备。

    you are the reason why i became stronger. but still,you are my weakness.因为你,我学会了坚强,而你,依旧是我的伤

    the impasse of the love for some people is tired of for some people‘s life爱的尽头对于有些人来说是厌倦 对于有些人来说是生命

    if you love someone, set them free.爱一个人,就是让他自由自在的做他自己。

    in life, couples meet because of fate. to go through life together is happiness.走在一起是缘分,一起在走是幸福。

    if you remember me, then i don‘t care if everyone else forgets.只要你记得我,我不介意整个世界都把我遗忘了。

    why is this once, only once in without you.为什么又是这样的曾经,只不过曾经里没有你。

    people cry, not because they‘re weak. it‘s because they‘ve been strong for too long.哭泣,不代表脆弱,只因坚强了太久。

    we first met location, it was named: miss.我们初次相遇的地点,把它取名叫:怀念

    i never wanted to forget you, i just don‘t want remind of you because i‘m afraid to heart hurts我从来都不想忘记你 我只是不愿想起你因为我怕心会疼


  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文

    今天接到一个来自夏威夷的电话!
    一看来电显示我慌了,然后小心翼翼问:“can i help you?”
    结果话筒里传来了一句:“我操,打错了,打错了!”
    我当场就凌乱了。。。

  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文
    During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.

    "How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.

    "Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold." 
  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文
    Doctor: And whom did you consult about your illness before you came to me?

    Patient: Only the druggist down at the corner.

    Doctor: And what sort of ridiculous advice did he gave you?

    Patient: He told me to see you! 
  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文
    A lady went to a pet shop to buy a parakeet. She asked the clerk for a bird that could sing. The man sold her a parakeet, and she took it home. There, she examined the bird and found out it had a broken leg. She returned to the store with the bird and told the clerk that the bird had a broken leg. "Lady," he answered, "when you brought the bird, you asked for a singer, not a dancer."
  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文
    A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he‘s getting sentimental because they‘re celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he‘d have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn‘t marry you. Tomorrow I would‘ve been a free man!"
  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文
    A young man went shopping. He bought a small can of corn, a small can of tuna(金枪鱼), a small jar of mayo(蛋黄酱), a small lemon and a very small box of teabags. When he came to the counter the girl at the cashregister smiled at him and said; "Dearest, You must be single."

    "Why, do You mean because I buy so little food?" 

    "No, because You′re so goddamn ugly..."
  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文
    Great truths about life that adults have learned

    Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
    There is always alot to be thankful for if you take the time to look. For example: I‘m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don‘t hurt.
    One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. 
    Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. 
    The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires. 
    Families are like fudge....mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 
    Today‘s mighty oak is just yesterday‘s nut that held its ground. 
    Laughing helps. It‘s like jogging on the inside. 
    Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. 
    My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely. 
    If you can remain calm, you just don‘t have all the facts.
  • 我爱搞笑2013-10-17 22:34:42 查看全文
    The following is a true story written by an educational psychologist and her experience on a plane.

    On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist.

    The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston.

    Then she inquired what I did for a living.

    I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. 

    Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If there‘s anything you want to know, just ask me."